It's official... I'm an aunt to twins! My sister delivered her twins last night. Braedyn Todd and Shayna Celine! I'm so excited for them. Shayna seems to be having some trouble breathing on her own so they have her hooked up to breathing tubes. But her brother, Braedyn seems to be doing well even though he was the smallest of the two. I'm finding it rather hard to stay excited and happy through all this, knowing what Sophia's outcome will be. I pray every day and every night that God will bless us with a miracle. After all, He works in very mysterious ways! My newborn nephew is a prime example. The smallest baby of the two but he seems to be doing terrific!
I've been feeling Sophia move alot more this week. I love and cherish every little kick, even when it feels like she's in my ribs lol. I'm finding it very hard to believe what the doctors are telling me. I still have that thought in the back of my mind that tells me, "Everything is fine. Sophia will pull through." It's getting harder and harder for me every day. I guess it would be better to start trying to cope now, but I just can't. I mentioned to my fiance last night, that I don't know how I'm ever going to make it through this. I've never felt so weak in my entire life. Weak and scared about sums it up for me. I'm trying my best to be strong for my 4 other kids, and Sophia. But I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job at it.
We finally go to meet our priest tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that. For some reason, everytime I finish talking with him and we leave, I feel a bit better inside. But after a day or so, it happens all over again. Complete breakdown. I'm starting to wonder if the tears will ever stop falling. Or if my eyes will just dry out from crying so much. Hopefully after tomorrow's meeting with Father Adrian, we'll be able to experience something good. Please God, give us a miracle!!
Over the last 4 1/2 weeks, we've had many people reach out to us from all over the world. It's truly amazing. And some people have even shared their stories with me. Every time I read someone's story, I sit here and cry for them. Then before you know it, I'm crying for Sophia. I understand that this is the cycle of life, but why must her life be so short? Why isn't there something that the doctors can do to help her? I guess some things I will just never understand.
Before I end this blog, I would like to ask everyone to continue to pray for Sophia. And along with her, please pray for the twins, my sister, and my father who was also admitted into the hospital today. We need all the prayers we can get! I've also started a Tribute Balloon for Sophia. Please grab ahold of it and pass it along! http://tributeballoon.com/balloon/show/1040049?rct_ch=share&rct_id=100000410109481&rct_t=1301342202&track=sharelink
Here are a few pics I'd also like to share!