Monday, March 14, 2011

Slowly feeling myself again

It has been almost 3 weeks now since we received the devastating news. And I'm finally starting to feel myself again. Before finding out the diagnosis, I was enjoying every bit of my pregnancy with Sophia (except of course the morning sickness). But now I'm finally getting back to being excited and enjoying it all over again. I've been really depressed lately. And not sure how I should feel or cope with the news. But a friend of mine let me borrow a book of hers. She lost a baby a few years ago and also had a hard time coping. And I think maybe these books helped her to cope.  The book is called Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne. I've always loved watching her on the Montel Williams show. And to sit down and read almost half of this book already, it's kind of putting me at peace. I've always believed in Angels. Always!! Did I know that they're always around us? Nope! Did I know you could call on them when you need help? No! I've learned so much from the little bit I've read. It's truly amazing!

So after reading about all the different "phyla" of Angels, I decided I'd give it a try. That's right, I was going to call on these Angels and hope that they can help us. And by us, I don't only mean Sophia, me, and my family. But I also mean Dawn, Katie, and their family. We're all facing the same thing right now. And Dawn and I are both praying for a miracle for these two beautiful girls, Sophia and Katie. So I figured, it couldn't hurt to try to call on these Angels. According to Sylvia Browne's book, the Angels we need would be in the Powers and Archangels phyla. So like I said, I gave it a try last night. Waking up today, I felt completely different. As if something has changed. I'm able to smile again. I'm able to laugh a little bit more. I'm not quite back to functioning the way I should, but I know it'll come when it's time. Now this "different" feeling, I'm not saying that these Angels healed Sophia and I'm not saying they didn't. We will not know that until July. (God I really do hope it worked.) But for some reason, I feel as if I have some peace of mind.

I'm actually planning on trying to go out for a walk tomorrow! That'll be the first time I've left my house to just do something rather then appointments. It's all coming together slowly. Not to mention, today was Sophia's brother's birthday. Junior turned 9 years old today! He's so happy but says he's getting old. I wish Sophia were here with us right now to be able to celebrate with us. Of course, she is here. But she's still in my belly. All nice and cozy.

Our "Prayers for Sophia" group on Facebook has really taken off! So far there are 130 members and counting. So that means 130 people who know what Sophia is going through. Plus whoever those 130 people tell. Prayers are coming in more and more every day. People from out of state are contacting me and sending their prayers. These people are just awesome! They don't even know us personally and are sending us their prayers and best wishes. Almost 3 weeks since the diagnosis and so many people know about her condition already. It is truly amazing! Maybe with enough people to join that group, read through this blog, and check out my Cafemom posts, we can put an end to these cases!! That is my goal... to tell as many people as I can about such a horrible condition. And maybe at the same time, these posts/groups will help educate other mothers so they know what they can do to avoid this from happening. I wish I would've known how important Folic Acid is. And for that, I'm so sorry Sophia. If only I would've known. Maybe it all could've been prevented. But I know God has a reason for doing this.

Time to go kick back and relax. Read some more of Book of Angels and wait for my sweet Sophia to give me some kicking lessons. I'm still waiting to feel her move today! Thanks for stopping by :)

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