Monday, March 28, 2011

Auntie to twins!

It's official... I'm an aunt to twins! My sister delivered her twins last night. Braedyn Todd and Shayna Celine! I'm so excited for them. Shayna seems to be having some trouble breathing on her own so they have her hooked up to breathing tubes. But her brother, Braedyn seems to be doing well even though he was the smallest of the two. I'm finding it rather hard to stay excited and happy through all this, knowing what Sophia's outcome will be. I pray every day and every night that God will bless us with a miracle. After all, He works in very mysterious ways! My newborn nephew is a prime example. The smallest baby of the two but he seems to be doing terrific!

I've been feeling Sophia move alot more this week. I love and cherish every little kick, even when it feels like she's in my ribs lol. I'm finding it very hard to believe what the doctors are telling me. I still have that thought in the back of my mind that tells me, "Everything is fine. Sophia will pull through." It's getting harder and harder for me every day. I guess it would be better to start trying to cope now, but I just can't. I mentioned to my fiance last night, that I don't know how I'm ever going to make it through this. I've never felt so weak in my entire life. Weak and scared about sums it up for me. I'm trying my best to be strong for my 4 other kids, and Sophia. But I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job at it.

We finally go to meet our priest tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that. For some reason, everytime I finish talking with him and we leave, I feel a bit better inside. But after a day or so, it happens all over again. Complete breakdown. I'm starting to wonder if the tears will ever stop falling. Or if my eyes will just dry out from crying so much. Hopefully after tomorrow's meeting with Father Adrian, we'll be able to experience something good. Please God, give us a miracle!!

Over the last 4 1/2 weeks, we've had many people reach out to us from all over the world. It's truly amazing. And some people have even shared their stories with me. Every time I read someone's story, I sit here and cry for them. Then before you know it, I'm crying for Sophia. I understand that this is the cycle of life, but why must her life be so short? Why isn't there something that the doctors can do to help her? I guess some things I will just never understand.

Before I end this blog, I would like to ask everyone to continue to pray for Sophia. And along with her, please pray for the twins, my sister, and my father who was also admitted into the hospital today. We need all the prayers we can get! I've also started a Tribute Balloon for Sophia. Please grab ahold of it and pass it along! http://tributeballoon.com/balloon/show/1040049?rct_ch=share&rct_id=100000410109481&rct_t=1301342202&track=sharelink

Here are a few pics I'd also like to share!
                                                                                             22 weeks and 3 days!

                                                                                Samples of keychains we're making

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Updates!

I'm back with a few more updates. Please excuse me, this post could end up being all over the place. First things first, we had another ultrasound done on Monday (March 21st). Early mornings, boy do I hate those LOL. But it was worth it. Our scan was rather short. But atleast we got to see Sophia again. She was pretty still, which worried me. She's never that still during an ultrasound. She's usually all over the place. But then again, it was pretty early in the morning, so maybe she was resting. We were able to get a few more pictures of her. You can see just how much she has grown over the last 4 weeks. Sophia just amazes me! After the scan was complete, we met with the head doctor of high risk pregnancy. Turns out that the doctors thought she may have a problem with her stomach.This worried me a bit. I remember thinking, "Isn't her anencephaly enough for her to deal with?" Not to mention her heart defect and possibility of iniencephaly. So I spoke with the Genetic Counselor today and she said from what she hears, Sophia does have a stomach, just no fluids in there to detect it through ultrasound. Which means that Sophia is having difficulties swallowing the amniotic fluid. And there's the reason why my amniotic fluid levels are slightly high. The doc says it's nothing to worry about right now. But that it could become an issue as the pregnancy progresses.

As for Sophia's heart defect, I'm not exactly sure what we're dealing with there but on April 6th we'll be having a prenatal echo done. Hopefully that will give us a few more answers. I'd like to be educated as much as possible and kept up to date with all of Sophia's medical problems. After meeting with the doctor, we met with the social worker again. She has been so helpful! She's trying to set up a pregnancy portrait session. Hopefully everything will work out. I want to keep as many memories of Sophia as I can.

I'm still finding it very hard to cope with the situation. I don't think I'm ready to begin. It just seems so wrong. We know what the outcome will be with Sophia, but I still don't want to accept that fact. I don't want to let her go that easily. Speaking of which, we received the birthing plan through the mail today. Or should I say it's a sample birthing plan. I can tell this is going to be very difficult. I'm not looking forward to doing this. It all just seems so unfair. I guess I just have this thought in the back of my head that keeps yelling out at me saying, "The doctors are wrong! Don't fill out a birthing plan. Sophia will be just fine." I'm sure every mother who has ever been faced with a fatal prenatal diagnosis has had these same thoughts. I find myself staying home alot and away from the public eye. While at my appointment on Monday, I saw 2 couples walking into the hospital with newborn baby girls. I'm not sure if I wanted to scream, cry, run for the hills, or flip out on whoever would listen. I'm told these are all normal feelings. It's just so hard to see that knowing we'll have to let our precious Sophia go and that chances are, we won't even have a chance to bring Sophia home. It hurts so much just picturing myself walking back into my house with empty arms. How does one cope with that?

I think that's it for the updates for now. Thanks for checking back!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

21 weeks!

We've finally reached 21 weeks today! The last 2 days have been very exciting for me because I've had to chance to feel several powerful kicks from Sophia! I love it :) Then I hear other pregnant mothers saying that they can't wait til it's all over. And here I am, wishing it could continue forever.  We went for our check-up today and of course, my baby girl, still has a very strong heartbeat. I love hearing it. It's a reminder for me that all that we're going through is worth it. I just wish D-day never had to come. I look forward to that day because I know I'll finally get to see her and hold her in my arms. But then it also hits me that sometime afterwards we'll have to say our goodbyes. Which I'm definitely not looking forward to. I just want to keep her here with us forever. She'll always live on in our hearts, I know that. It may be selfish to some, but I just want her to stay here, healthy and alive, and never have to say goodbye.

While at the doctors today, she told me she strongly advises that I have a tubal after the delivery. I thought for sure I'd be able to have atleast 1 more c-section in the future. But she tells me that she doesn't think it would be a very good idea. That she almost lost a patient not too long ago during her 5th c-section. Now I'm scared out of my mind. I've been scared for Sophia's sake for the last 3 weeks. Now I'm also afraid for myself. So it looks like there will be no more babies in my future. That itself adds more stress and depression on my shoulders, but I guess it's the only safe way.

Can't wait for Monday morning to get here. We get to see Sophia on ultrasound again. I'm so excited for that. I love watching her move around. Sometimes I just can't feel all these movements but seeing them makes me feel so much better. going to ask them if I can get a video of her ultrasound. Something to keep as a memory, one of many.

I just have so many mixed emotions right now. And I'm back to feeling all alone again. I just really hope that I'm doing the right thing.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Slowly feeling myself again

It has been almost 3 weeks now since we received the devastating news. And I'm finally starting to feel myself again. Before finding out the diagnosis, I was enjoying every bit of my pregnancy with Sophia (except of course the morning sickness). But now I'm finally getting back to being excited and enjoying it all over again. I've been really depressed lately. And not sure how I should feel or cope with the news. But a friend of mine let me borrow a book of hers. She lost a baby a few years ago and also had a hard time coping. And I think maybe these books helped her to cope.  The book is called Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne. I've always loved watching her on the Montel Williams show. And to sit down and read almost half of this book already, it's kind of putting me at peace. I've always believed in Angels. Always!! Did I know that they're always around us? Nope! Did I know you could call on them when you need help? No! I've learned so much from the little bit I've read. It's truly amazing!

So after reading about all the different "phyla" of Angels, I decided I'd give it a try. That's right, I was going to call on these Angels and hope that they can help us. And by us, I don't only mean Sophia, me, and my family. But I also mean Dawn, Katie, and their family. We're all facing the same thing right now. And Dawn and I are both praying for a miracle for these two beautiful girls, Sophia and Katie. So I figured, it couldn't hurt to try to call on these Angels. According to Sylvia Browne's book, the Angels we need would be in the Powers and Archangels phyla. So like I said, I gave it a try last night. Waking up today, I felt completely different. As if something has changed. I'm able to smile again. I'm able to laugh a little bit more. I'm not quite back to functioning the way I should, but I know it'll come when it's time. Now this "different" feeling, I'm not saying that these Angels healed Sophia and I'm not saying they didn't. We will not know that until July. (God I really do hope it worked.) But for some reason, I feel as if I have some peace of mind.

I'm actually planning on trying to go out for a walk tomorrow! That'll be the first time I've left my house to just do something rather then appointments. It's all coming together slowly. Not to mention, today was Sophia's brother's birthday. Junior turned 9 years old today! He's so happy but says he's getting old. I wish Sophia were here with us right now to be able to celebrate with us. Of course, she is here. But she's still in my belly. All nice and cozy.

Our "Prayers for Sophia" group on Facebook has really taken off! So far there are 130 members and counting. So that means 130 people who know what Sophia is going through. Plus whoever those 130 people tell. Prayers are coming in more and more every day. People from out of state are contacting me and sending their prayers. These people are just awesome! They don't even know us personally and are sending us their prayers and best wishes. Almost 3 weeks since the diagnosis and so many people know about her condition already. It is truly amazing! Maybe with enough people to join that group, read through this blog, and check out my Cafemom posts, we can put an end to these cases!! That is my goal... to tell as many people as I can about such a horrible condition. And maybe at the same time, these posts/groups will help educate other mothers so they know what they can do to avoid this from happening. I wish I would've known how important Folic Acid is. And for that, I'm so sorry Sophia. If only I would've known. Maybe it all could've been prevented. But I know God has a reason for doing this.

Time to go kick back and relax. Read some more of Book of Angels and wait for my sweet Sophia to give me some kicking lessons. I'm still waiting to feel her move today! Thanks for stopping by :)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Things I forgot...

Sitting back and thinking today, I remembered some things that I forgot to add. It seems like so much has been going on lately that it's hard to keep track. So I'll try my best to add everything into this post that I forgot to add in the beginning...

2 days after receiving the heartbreaking news, we went to speak with our priest. It wasn't easy leaving the house and openly talking about what is going on with Sophia. Actually, I was scared that my priest wouldn't know what Anencephaly was and that I would end up having to go into detail. Shockingly, I didn't have to. He knew exactly what it was. We went on to talk about how or why this is happening to us. And why would God be wanting to take her away from us so soon after she is born. He came out with a good point, and said, Maybe he's taking her early because He knows what was planned in her life. Maybe she would've gotten into a very bad car accident or worse, sometime in the future and we'd end up losing her then. Point is, I don't want to lose her at all.... Ever!! But he went on to say that this is her express ticket to Heaven. And atleast with her being in Heaven and God taking great care of her, she will always be safe and out of harms way. I can agree with what he has said, but at the same time it doesn't make anything any easier for me.

That following Monday morning, I went to speak with my family doctor. We've been close for many many years. And atleast with a doctor, I knew I wouldn't have to explain anything. She's been there for me all throughout all my pregnancies. I explained everything I'm feeling, and how scared I am. She also told me that it would be up to me on what decision I wanted to take and that no matter what, the community would all be by my side. I explained to her how I was afraid that after having Sophia, I wouldn't be able to have anymore children. I've always wanted a big family, atleast 6. And I knew that sometime in the future I would like to try for one more baby. But I was afraid I wouldn't be able to because all my babies are delivered by c-section. She assured me that when I feel ready to try again, I could give it a go. After talking for awhile, we said our goodbyes, with a big hug.

Now I know some of you may think that by me wanting to have another baby in the future means that I'm just trying to replace Sophia. Another baby would definitely NOT take Sophia's place. Noone could ever take her place. She is a very important part of our family, and always will be!

We put together a collage of all Sophia's ultrasound pictures. It's a pretty big frame and I love to show off her pictures. It hangs on our living room wall. I had 2 people ask me so far, "Why do you do that to yourself?" or "Why do you keep that out in the open knowing it's going to hurt you to see that every day?" I'm not doing anything to myself. And it doesn't hurt me to see my precious daughter's pictures hanging on the wall. It just goes to show everyone that Sophia is REAL! And right now, she is very much alive! When the time comes that we can no longer be together, I will continue to leave her pictures out in the open. They have every right to be there. She is part of us! And don't ever forget that!

I've never really realized how important it is to take pictures of your belly. I only ever had a couple taken here and a couple taken there with my other children. This has changed! I'm starting to take pictures every week. Not only to share with everyone, but also to print out and put into Sophia's baby book. I feel the need to document everything this time around, so I don't forget things!
Here is one of those pics :)
                                                                               20 weeks and 2 days!!

Many many more to come. Keep checking back :)

Friday, March 11, 2011

Angels also live on Earth!

And God has sent one our way! I have felt as if me and Sophia are all alone. I've read many stories about other mothers and their babies with Anencephaly. But it doesn't seem as if any of them are from the here and now. These stories are truly touching. Especially the stories of Carleigh Mckenna and Faith Hope. I find myself reading their stories alot. But at the same time I had wished I could find someone who was going through the same thing right now. Not that I would wish something like this on my own worst enemy. But someone for me to talk to. Someone who can relate to the way I'm feeling right now and someone who is feeling the exact same way as I am, at the moment.

Well, God must've known I was looking for someone to relate to. She contacted me on Cafemom today. I hate to say it, but I was feeling a bit relieved. Finally someone I could talk to. Someone else to take this long journey with us. Come to find out, her baby was diagnosed with Anencephaly 1 day before Sophia. So it turns out that the day the doctors "suspected" that something was wrong with Sophia, another mom was receiving the same news I received the next morning.

Coincidence? Possibly. I'm just happy to know that this woman read my post and contacted me. Hopefully we can become each others shoulders to cry on.

As for the other moms who have already experienced this, what did you find was the easiest way to cope? I seem to be having a hard time even beginning to cope. I cry myself to sleep nightly. I sit here all day just waiting for a kick from Sophia, so that I know she's still with us and to know she's okay. I continue to pray to God for a miracle. If He can't change her condition, I hope He can atleast give us more then a couple minutes together. I'd love to be able to bring Sophia Grace home, so we can spend some quality time with her as a family, outside of the hospital.

Most of all Lord, thank you for sending this woman and her baby my way. I think this is what me and Sophia needed. Someone who can relate to us right now.

To Carleigh and Faith's mommies, your stories were very touching. Thank you for sharing them with the world. And to all the other moms of anencephalic babies, I can't wait to read your stories as well. They pretty much nail things right on the head as to what I should expect in the coming months. God bless you all!!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

5 months and counting!

We have finally made it to the 5 month (20 weeks) mark! I'm pretty excited about that, but also getting depressed. I now know I only have about 18 weeks left to spend with her til she's born. I can't wait to be able to see her. But at the same time I'm not ready to say my goodbyes just yet.

I continue to sit back every day and pray for a miracle. Miracles happen all the time. So I'm hoping God can grant us a miracle, just this one time. And it's not that I'm trying to be selfish, because I know she'd be much safer in Heaven. I'm asking for a miracle so my 4 other kids don't have to go through anymore hurt and pain.

My 4 older children were beyond excited to find out that they were going to be having another baby brother or sister. And when they found out they were going to have a sister, they were ecstatic! Then to turn around the next day and tell them that she won't be able to stay with us very long really tore at their little hearts. My 2 older kids, Mercedes and Angel Jr, took it the hardest. Even though Junior wasn't ready for a baby sister, he was still excited in his own way. And this news was just horrible for Mercedes.

I remember her saying, "But Mom, this just isn't fair! All I've ever wanted is a little sister to play with. And now she has to be taken away from us. It's just not fair!!" My heart ached for her. I wanted to be able to tell her that this was all just a scary dream and that she'd be able to have her little sister here with her always. But I knew I couldn't give her false hope. It would only hurt more in the end.

Junior on the other hand, also says that it's not fair that they have to lose her so quickly. Along with, "Mom, I'm scared. I don't want sissy to be all alone without any of us. I'm just really scared." This tears me to pieces! I wish I could change things around, but it's not within my power. I've tried to explain to him that his baby sister will not be alone, that she gets to be with God and all the other family members we've lost over the years. And that they'll all take great care of her. And when it is our time to go, we'll get to be with her again.

My 5 yr old, Jordan, seems to be taking it the best. He partly understands what is going on, but not fully. I explained, through tears, that his baby sister is pretty sick right now and that shortly after she's born, she'll go to be with God. He wrapped his little arms around my neck and said, "It'll be okay Mommy. She'll be in Heaven looking down on us all the time. I'll have a very special baby sister. And Sophia will live on in my heart forever!" I remember sitting there thinking, "Did that just come out of my 5yr olds mouth? My goodness, I knew he was smart, but I never truly knew how smart he is!!" So I try my best to think in a positive light, like Jordan does. But he also has his moments where he says that he's feeling sad. So I just comfort him as best as I can and repeat to him exactly what he said to me.

My 3yr old, Javier, doesn't really understand what is going on with the baby. He still thinks she'll be able to come home with us and that he'll be able to teach her how to "play video games". I try to explain simply that she'll be going to Heaven. And all he can ask me is, "Why mom?" It's so hard to explain to a child so young. So I will better explain everything to him when he's older and can better understand.

We have many very supportive friends and family by our side. Our support system is one of the biggest I've ever known of. Nearly our entire community has offered a hand to help us out or to just listen if we need someone to talk to. And we greatly appreciate it.

Someone once told me, "Anything you need, I'll be glad to help you." And my response was, "The only thing I need, I cannot have. What I need is to keep Sophia here with us. Alive and well." That just brought them to tears. I see just how much our precious lil girl has effected those who know about her and know what she is going through. Even to sit down and explain her condition to a stranger, the tears start flowing.

I keep trying to tell myself every day that God gave us Sophia, because he knew we'd be strong enough to stand up and spread awareness on such a horrible condition. And we're trying our very best. I will continue to support Anencephaly Awareness until my day comes to meet with her again.

And a quick little note to those who are trying to conceive, it is very important to be on Folic Acid atleast 3 months before trying to conceive, straight through your first trimester. Folic Acid helps reduce the risks of this happening to your baby. I wouldn't wish this on my own worst enemy. And if you're asked by your OB if you'd like to have the Quad Screen done, do it!! I almost turned it down. But changed my mind and agreed. I should be getting that done soon, but either way Sophia has already been diagnosed through an ultrasound.

Sophia, I hope you can feel all the love I have for you. It has become difficult to let my emotions out now, but I feel as if as long as I continue to write, you'll know just how much Mommy loves and cares about you! 4 months til we get to meet face-to-face and I CANNOT wait! I can just imagine how beautiful you are already. My guess is, you've got the blonde hair and blue eyes, just like Mommy! At the same time, I hope you have some of Daddy's features too. We love you so much, baby girl!!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Sophia at 19 weeks

Sophia at 18 weeks

The beginning

In the middle of November 2010, we found out we were expecting another baby. Baby #5 to be exact. Nonetheless, we were very excited. I personally couldn't wait for my ultrasound so I could find out if we were expecting another little boy (which we have 3 of) or finally another girl (which we only have 1). The pregnancy felt pretty normal to be. Of course you have the nausea, fatigue, and the occasional headache. By the time I hit 17 weeks and 6 days, it was time to go to Radiology. I was beyond happy to find out that in fact we were having another little girl. As soon as we left the hospital, I started calling everyone or texting them to let them in on the news. Everyone was so excited for us. And at this point, we decided to name her Sophia Emma.

Later that night, I get a call from my ob who says,"We need you to come back to MFM first thing tomorrow morning. They think they may have spotted some adnormality with the baby's head." I remember hanging up the phone and  just breaking down. Some very close friends of ours told us to keep our head up, that maybe it was just a problem with the ultrasound equipment. First thing the next morning, I'm on my way to MFM. Scared out of my mind on what I was going to hear. But I tried to prepare myself for the worst possible scenario. Nothing came close to what they were going to say!

As I laid there on the bed, I admired my precious baby girl. She looked to be just another fine and healthy baby. I laid back smiling and watching her move all around. She just didn't want to sit still! She reminded me so much of all my other babies. I remember counting to see if all her fingers and toes were there. And in fact they were. I couldn't be any happier. The doctor excused himself and left the room. I didn't bother to think anything of it.

What seemed to be about 5 minutes later, the doctor walks back in the room and sits down, without saying a word. He looked at me with a very straight face and told me, "Our suspicions were right. We have come across an abnormality. And it is fairly rare." I tried to brace myself, and I replied with, "Ok, what would that be?" He says, "Your baby has Anencephaly." I never heard of such a condition before so my first response was, "Ok, what can we do to make this better."  He takes a deep breath and says, "There is nothing we can do. Anencephaly is 100% fatal and has no cure."
I broke down immediately. Devistated isn't even the word to use. I tried to calm myself down as best as I could, so he could continue explaining exactly what the condition is. He went on to explain that it is a neural tube defect, almost like Spina Bifida. But in this case, the neural tube didn't close at the top, to form her skull. I was horrified. I really didn't know what this meant or how this could happen. And he explained that it was nothing that I did wrong, that these sort of things just spontaneously happen. After explaining, he went on to tell me I had 2 choices. That I could terminate my pregnancy, or I could continue to go on. And if I continue on, Sophia could pass away during delivery. Or she could live for a couple of minutes to a couple of hours. It seemed as if my biggest nightmare had come true. I never in my life wanted to have to bury one of my children. My children were to bury me!!

A social worker came into the room and had asked me if I'd like to have a recording of Sophia's heartbeat and that they could stick the recording into a teddy bear and I knew immediately that I wanted this. So they set up the ultrasound again and started to record her heartbeat, which was quite strong (157 to be exact). I just remember laying there thinking, "How can something be wrong with my precious angel when she seems to be just fine!?" I cried some more. And I just couldn't seem to get the tears under control. They told me they could get ahold of one of the genetic counselors, so I could talk to her before leaving. But I told them at that point, I just wanted to go home. What I really wanted to do was escape from this nightmare!

I came home and broke the news to my fiance. I don't think things sank in for him right away. But when it did, it hit him like a ton of bricks! My other children were heartbroken, as were we. It seemed like we were all just falling apart at the seams. At this moment, we decided to change her name from Sophia Emma, to Sophia Grace. It just seemed to fit so much better, now that we knew what was going on.

Here we are, 14 days after the diagnosis, and that pain is still very raw. I feel Sophia move, and I cherish her every movement. But at the same time, I feel this pain in my heart that I've never felt before. If all this was wrong with my baby, why is she still moving? But I've started to tell myself that she continues to move because she is my fighter. My precious baby sent from God. Everything I've ever wanted and had dreamed of having for so long.

At our follow up appointment, which was a 3D and 4D scan, the doctor went on to tell us that there were some other defects. I felt as if I couldn't bare to hear anything more. He started to tell me that Sophia also had a heart defect, which he really didn't get into. Next was that another doctor had pointed out that it looks as if she also has Iniencephaly, which is even more rare. And to top it all off, he also said there was an issue with her umbilical cord. That the umbilical cord is supposed to have 2 arteries and 1 vein. But she only has 1. He didn't say which one she had though. But their main concern is her Anencephaly.

This tears me apart as the days go on. But I've made a promise to Sophia that I will get more awareness out there to people who are trying to conceive. These things do happen. And it's heartbreaking. So as for my promise to her, I am spreading awareness on Anencephaly. I've started making Anencephaly Awareness Ribbons in her honor, and any money collected from making these will be put towards Sophia's 'final' costs. It all just seems so unfair. But I feel as if she has a right to have her legacy live on. After these short 20 weeks, Sophia has affected my life like noone else has. Even though she is not actually here yet, she has made me out to be a better person.

I have also contacted the March Of Dimes to get a walk started here in our local area in honor of this precious gift from God!

Awareness is key! And hopefully one day, doctors will be able to come up with a cure for this life-threatening illness. God knows I wish they could come up with a cure by tomorrow. But the chances of that happening are slim to none.

To those of you wondering if we're going to be continuing or terminating the pregnancy, the answer is, we are continuing the pregnancy.

At first, I had several people telling me that maybe I should just terminate. And I had thought long and hard about this. I started thinking that maybe these people were right. I actually went as far as setting up the appointment to have the procedure done. 2 days before the procedure was to be done, the doctor called me to tell me there was a problem with my insurance. Part of me felt guilty to have to continue a pregnancy with a very difficult outcome, but then another part of me felt very relieved. Even though I knew what was going to happen, I still wanted to carry Sophia full term. I want to take in all her movements and cherish them. I want to be able to hold her, hug her, kiss her, show her how much we truly love her, have her siblings and close family meet her. There is so much that I want to be able to do with her before having to say our goodbyes.

And to those of you thinking, "Wow, those people who wanted her to terminate are heartless!!". That is not the case at all. I've been told that this will be a high risk pregnancy, as all my other pregnancies have been. I delivered all my other children by C-section, as I will have to do with Sophia. And these people are just scared for my own well-being.

Please keep our family in your prayers as we start this journey with Sophia.

**Sophia was diagnosed with Anencephaly on February 23, 2011**
My name is Tabitha. I'm a 25yr old stay at home mom of 4 kids. 1 girl and 3 boys. And expecting our 2nd girl on July 28th, 2011. I've decided to start a blog to keep close friends and family in the loop about what is going on with Sophia. Sophia is our baby girl's name. Sophia Grace to be more exact. And here is where I will start about Sophia's journey and continue to blog for as long as I can. Thanks for stopping by!